Silly

Erich just got home from work.

Me: I kind of feel like taking a walk.

Erich: I kind of do too! All in favor say "aye."

Pause as we each look at each other, waiting for the inevitable punchline.

Both in unison: YOU!



Seriously, we crack ourselves up.

Funny Email Fwd

I know email forwards aren't particularly original or interesting blog material, but I really like this one. And it's my blog and I can do what I want.

This one is a little different... Two Different Versions! Two Different Morals!

OLD VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the ant is warm and well-fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!

MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well-fed while others are cold and starving.

CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast.

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.'

Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.' Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's sake.

Nancy Pelosi & John Kerry exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he doesn't maintain it.

The ant has disappeared in the snow.

The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote in 2010.

I Love This Song!

YouTube Link

My Future Stardom

Kent at thetalkingmirror.com speaks to my soul:

You’ve got a problem. You feel the Lord calling you to a career as a chart-topping, face-shredding rock star, but you feel guilty about the sex, drugs, and sex that inevitably accompany super stardom.

Yes, I do!

Your solution? Become a worship leader! Get the groupies, the Facebook fanpages, and the all-you-can-drink booze buffets you’ve always wanted while keeping your conscience squeaky clean!

Yesssss!!!!

Now, before you run off to Colorado Springs and start a band, I should tell you, it takes more than non-threatening good looks and a severely inflated ego to become the mouthpiece of the church. You need a catchy ditty that people of all ages will relate to without fully understanding.

Oops, it's starting to sound like my background as an organist and handbell choir director won't really transfer.

The rest of this webinar is entirely too awesome to copy/paste, so please, go read and laugh.

Link
HT: Mollie at Brothers of John the Steadfast

Something Completely Different

Erich does Blue Steel:

(This was at the Dearborn Inn in Dearborn, MI, where we stayed with my parents and my sister and BIL the weekend before Christmas while we visited extended family. See the picturesque view out the window? We had just told them we were expecting a baby. Excitement abounded. And the three men enjoyed a LOT of wine. My sister took a picture with her iPhone and emailed it to me. By the time I had a chance to look at it, we had already found out about the miscarriage. I know that I'm healing though, because I can look at this picture and fondly enjoy the memories. And I think my husband is really cute and funny.)

My Funny Husband

Erich, to me on the phone: What do you want for dinner, tacos or tuna casserole? [He's so wonderful and did a lot of grocery shopping and prepared dinner after a full day of work.]

Me: Ummm...tuna casserole!

Erich: Correct.

Me: LOL

Werewolf Bar Mitzvah

This is a bit belated for Halloween, but I had to share this hilarity. 30 Rock is a really funny show! It's not for everyone, but if you think this is pretty funny, you should start watching it:



(YouTube link)

And here's a video someone made for the "full version" of the song originally posted on nbc.com:



(YouTube link)

Too Funny

Sarah Palin and the Pope

So, Sarah Palin's advisers decide that it is time for her to meet a bunch of serious world leaders. They head to Europe, where, first up, she has an appointment with the Pope. The Pope and some of his Cardinals invite her for a boat ride on the Tiber. As they are sitting in the gondola talking, a wind starts up and blows the Pope's hat into the water. Palin looks around and realizes that no one is going to do anything about it, so she calmly rises, takes off her her high heels, and steps off the side of the boat. Instead of diving into the water, however, she walks across it to the hat, picks it up and walks back across the water to the boat. She climbs in, hands the Pope his hat and continues discussing whatever it was they had been talking about. The Cardinals are open-mouthed in astonishment at what they have just seen. The news media, in nearby boats are busy discussing among themselves how to report it. Headlines the next day at the New York Times, The Washington Post and the networks all blare: "New Revelation: Sarah Palin Can't Swim."


From The Corner.

Chipmunks

I think it's a hard and fast rule of comedy that sped up=extremely funny. This just makes me giggle:

Talk Like a Pirate

In honor of International Talk Like a Pirate Day, September 19, here is my last post translated into Pirate:

I think I be havin' enough moments in Spain t' last about a voyage....

I've spake that thar's nay a lot t' do in Bilbao, but thar be a wee decent museums. Th' most famous, an' accordin' t' Rick Steves, th' only reason t' avast in Bilbao on yer way t' or from San Sebastien, be th' Guggenheim Museum o' Modern Art. I sailed' thar on Toosdee o' me tides in Bilbao.

... when th' ser'er spake "Water? Wine?" I spake, "aye, please." I figured 't would be a glass o' wine or a half keg. Nope, 't be an entire keg o' wine.

Ha! I love useless but fun holidays.

It's Hypnotic

Like Slinky for grown-ups.


EepyBird's Sticky Note experiment from Eepybird on Vimeo.

From Videosift

Probably about as political as this blog will get

Sarah Palin rocks. Tina Fey: also a pretty fun lady. I'm sure Tina Fey probably doesn't think Sarah Palin is very awesome, but she does do a darn fine impersonation of her:

It's about time

I'm a church musician and an organist. I'm all for traditional liturgy and styles in the church.

But I'm SICK and TIRED of all this BASHING of contemporary Christian music. I mean, I need music that speaks to ME in MY generation, or I just don't GET it. God's word isn't enough, and that's why it needs to be put into a context that I can understand. C'mon, I'm in the generation of the Millenials. If you don't meet my personal needs WHILE making me feel completely good about myself, I'm just going to move right along. YouTube is chock full of other theologies that would meet my needs.

What I need is a friend. A friend named Jesus. A friend named Jesus that I can learn all about in an upbeat, uplifting ska song.



See, I never knew Jesus was like a mountie. That really just helped contextualize the whole bible for me. Thanks, Sonseed!

H/T: Putting Out the Fire via Issues, etc.

Garfield

Here's another item I feel compelled to "blog it like it's hot," compliments of my friend George.

Remember when Garfield was funny? Neither do I. Actually, I loved Garfield when I was little and actually collected the books for a long time. But I was about 10 when the humor peaked for me. Now, I find it hard to believe it's still in print. There's nothing to the strip but recycled, bad jokes! But if you take out Garfield himself, you gain insight into the lonely, crazy weirdo that is Jon Arbuckle. Check out this blog: http://garfieldminusgarfield.tumblr.com/

Garfield is funny again!

Chuck Norris

For the first time, like, ever, Erich has requested I blog something. He found this on PC World:

Dig This: Need a chuckle? Follow these steps: go to Google; enter "find chuck norris" without the quotes; click "I'm Feeling Lucky."

Do it. It's hilarious.

Xanadu

So, Losties, did you catch Hurley's reference to Xanadu in tonight's episode (don't worry, no spoilers)? I'm sure the writers just threw it in for fun because this movie is hilariously horrible.

I haven't seen it, but I learned about it from Entertainment Weekly when the Broadway musical was in production a few months ago. Apparently, it was a flop of a movie hoping to capitalize on Olivia Newton-John's popularity from Grease. Basically, Olivia Newton-John is a Greek muse who inspires some dude to open a roller disco. And also, they fall in love.

The music and the badness of the movie was enough to establish a pretty strong cult following. And now, through the magic of YouTube, we can see what I only assume is the movie in a nutshell, the final scene.

I'd say this video clip is eight minutes of your life well-wasted. Enjoy.

Cereal

When there's cereal in the house, I tend to go overboard. After several days of double-helpings of Grape Nuts after Erich leaves for work:

Erich: What happened to all the Grape Nuts??

Me: I TOLD you, I've been going nuts on the Grape Nuts.

Erich: But we just bought it, and I only had one bowl....

Me: What part of "I went nuts on the Grape Nuts" don't you understand?!?

Erich: The "grape"! I mean, where does that even COME from????

Me: lol

Flight of the Conchords

Erich and I have had this in our heads all day:

Funny

Got this forward from my dad. I rofl'ed:

To All My Democrat Friends:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability or religious faith.


To my Republican friends - Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!