Bizarre

I've had a lot of strange experiences in the ~49 weeks since my baby was born. Tonight is right up there!

Lily's bedtimes have been all over the place. In fact, it really makes me want to rethink how I spend my evenings so that I could always be there to help her get to bed at a decent time, but that's another post entirely. Anyway, our routine, such as it is, has been particularly out of whack recently.

Tonight she had what I could only call a very late nap, going to sleep around what would be a good bedtime, about 7:00pm. The only problem was we happened to be at my parents' house at the time. When she woke up a little bit, around 9:30, we bundled her up and took her home. She was groggy and cranky through the pj's and diaper change routine and then feasted on momma's milk before dozing off again.

Then she did the currently-typical "I'M ASLEEP BUT YOU CAN'T PUT ME DOWN OR I WILL SCREAM AND CRY" rigmarole. It's kind of like having a newborn again, only extra infuriating because I don't understand it at all. Multiple attempts to calm her down failed. She'd be floppy-asleep, but as soon as I'd start to lower her into her crib, she'd arch her back, flip over and start wailing. I found myself praying that if God would be so good as to bless us with more children, would He please also be so beneficent as to grant us a child who actually likes to sleep? Or at least doesn't fight it with every tiny ounce of her strength?

So, I gave up. Daddy's turn. He was ready for bed, so he tried calming her down to sleep in our bed. He tried going back to her room and rocking her. He tried everything before calling on me. We did the can't-fail, flank-the-baby-in-bed-and-let-her-touch-BOTH-of-our-hair routine that should do it. Nope, she'd calm down, act like she was asleep and then completely lose it if someone moved a muscle.

Exasperated, I offered her the breast one last time. She drank up, rolled over, eyes still closed, and then: was that a smile? Is this kid smiling in her sleep? And THEN:

"Pthbtp. Heh"

She was babbling. Happy babbling. She stuck out her tongue at Erich and then finally, dramatically, opened her eyes with a look of glee. Erich and I both did a double-take and then starting rolling around laughing. Lily joined in. I have no idea what happened. I still don't--but it was pretty darn funny!

I laughed and laughed until I nearly cried frustrated tears of exhaustion an hour later when she was doing the scream-cry thing again. I finally got her calmed down and, miraculously, in her crib. So I guess I'd better get ready for bed, slip into bed, and then be most of the way asleep in time for her to wake up again. Good night!

I Mean, We Love Sleep!

Two epiphanies today:

1. Erich was on a work call when Lily and I got up. She was being noisy and wiggly, so rather than try to wrestle her, I plopped her in the high chair and gave her some apple while I had my breakfast. She loved it! The girl is ready for more solids. It's time to sit her down and give her food at meal times. (Lately we've been doing that only at dinnertime and only when convenient.) Gotta sow the seeds for future routines!

2. Sleep regressions are good for hitting the reset button on my expectations. Not expecting any naps today (hey, aim low), I was so delighted when she actually went to sleep that I got BUSY and got some things accomplished around the house. Two hours later, I am only just now hearing little wakey sounds.

Hooray.

Mother of the Year: Sticker

I won't be surprised if this becomes a series. All the reasons I totally deserve the "Mother of the Year" award... NOT.

This past Thursday, Lily enjoyed some avocado. I mean, she really enjoyed it, eating up to a quarter of it, feeding herself with a spoon and all. Yay!

On Friday, Lily and I went to Kohl's to use a coupon. I got a few tops for myself and then went to the baby department to get some new sleepers. Our little porker is busting through her 12-month size sleepers already! I also thought it would be good to stock up on socks before the weather turns cold. I selected a package and handed it to my curious little baby in the stroller. No harm, right?

Five or ten minutes later, she starts coughing. It sounded like she just swallowed her drool wrong. But she gasped a few times, so I checked her mouth. Nothing. I picked her up so she could recover and she quickly returned to normal. The situation was slightly alarming for about 15 seconds, but I didn't think a whole lot of it after it passed.

Sunday night, she had a poop that made me determined that we need a diaper sprayer. Evidence of avocado is all I will say.

Monday, Erich left town for one night. Lily caught up on sleep from a weird weekend, which was great, but she was in worse and worse moods when she was awake. I started wracking my brains trying to figure out what I ate that was so offensive because it really seemed like she had the "dairy crazies." Sure, I had a little bit here and there, but I thought it was acceptable levels. She was way too crazy for acceptable levels of dairy.

Yesterday, I gave her some sweet potato, but she wasn't at all interested in eating. It was our first real miss in the solid foods department. I thought it was weird, but she wasn't sleeping well at all and so that could have been the culprit. Erich came home and validated me: the baby was crazy, and gassy.

This morning, another poop. Horror. I wiped with another diaper and took them to the toilet to swish, whereupon I discovered something unmistakably inorganic. I unfurled the little circle and could just make out some words:

cushion

foot

.

..

...

Oh dear. Shame. Head is hanging. Mother of the Year. Those socks, five days ago, had a sticker on them. A removable, eatable sticker. That's what she gagged on. That's what gave her the "dairy crazies." And I was the one who handed it to her.

In conclusion, I'm going to buy a diaper sprayer today.

Oh, and there was a mouse in our kitchen. But that's another story!

A Word About Dairy

I believe I've mentioned before that I'm avoiding dairy as a rule. The reasons are two-fold. 1. It bothers Lily via breastmilk. 2. It bothers me.

Sometimes this is hard for people to understand. What, Lily can't have milk? But her entire diet consists of... milk! How silly. Well, it's actually not that silly.

So here's a handy FAQ!

Q: Is Lily lactose intolerant?

A: No. It is extremely rare for a baby to be lactose intolerant, and it may even be impossible. My human milk is full of lactose and she's fine with it. So, again, the issue here is not with lactose.

Q: Is Lily allergic to dairy?

A: No. A true allergy to dairy protein is rare and would result in severe reactions to even a little bit of dairy in my diet. Her reactions are not nearly severe enough to make me suspect an allergy. Her problem seems to be a sensitivity, or intolerance.

Q: Then how do you know she has a problem?

A. The answer to this question derives from a bit of intuition and some simple non-scientific experiments. And, be forewarned, the following paragraphs will talk quite a bit about baby poop.

When Lily was super tiny, she pooped frequently like all newborns do. I started noticing more and more that her poop, instead of being nice and mustard-yellow and seedy, was increasingly green-colored, mucus-y, and watery. And as she got to the age when most babies start consolidating their poops, she continued to poop quite frequently (12x a day). The green mucus concerned me. The lactation consultant and the doctor told me to keep an eye on it but weren't too concerned since she was definitely healthy and gaining weight appropriately. It didn't get worse, but it also did not improve. She also had eczema, skin rashes--both of which she would scratch until she bled--and itchy nose and congestion. Her worst poop days were accompanied by extra fussiness and gas. I must note that Lily is a very easy baby. She has a very even temperament and rarely cries. So her "extra fussiness" probably served to put her in the category of an average baby. But I know my baby, and I knew that she was uncomfortable.

I knew also, from my reading, that it's common for little breastfed babies to be sensitive to certain foods in the mother's diet. Gas-causing vegetables, eggs, meat, and dairy are a few common ones. Usually they outgrow these things. I was very loath to cut anything out of my diet; I simply didn't want to deprive myself of whatever I felt like eating, and I love my ice cream and mac 'n' cheese. But I was also tired of being the "poop-nazi," carefully inspecting every diaper, waiting to see if she outgrew her apparent sensitivity with no action on my part. On a few separate occasions, I cut back on dairy and noticed some improvement. But then we'd have pizza for dinner or I'd have a little of this, a little of that and then we were back to mucus poops and fussiness. Finally, around 3.5months, I decided enough was enough: NO MORE DAIRY.

Even so, I eliminated only obvious dairy. I would still have baked goods, things fried in butter, etc. Again, Lily was not in poor health, I just knew she wasn't feeling well. Within a week of dairy elimination, the poop problems, gas and fussiness, and head-scratching were much improved. I seemed to have my answer. Lily seemed to be much happier for much more of the day, and I was very happy as well.

Q: Would it help if you switched to baby formula?

A. Seeing as formula is made from cow's milk...no. Furthermore, many babies who are sensitive to dairy are also sensitive to soy (my non-scientific experimentation bears this out). That would have me paying top-dollar for nasty hypoallergenic formula. It's far less inconvenient for me to simply alter my diet and for Lily and me to keep receiving all the other benefits of breastfeeding. And what a travesty it would be to have switched to formula and gone through even more problems and detective work without having the option to go back to breastfeeding. For, when it comes to breastmilk, if you don't use it, you lose it.

Q: So, will she outgrow this?

A: All signs point to yes. When I first eliminated dairy, even slight deviations from the rule seemed to make her symptoms come roaring back. Now, if I happen to have something with a little cheese or one spoonful of ice cream, she seems unaffected. However, if I were to treat myself to a full serving of dairy, I believe we would pay for it.

Some of her issues remain. She still scratches her forehead, but we do a better job of keeping her tiny nails trimmed, so she no longer breaks the skin. She still gets nasal congestion and rubs her nose a lot. She still gets mucus in her diaper from time to time, but she no longer gets diarrhea. It's possible that she's sensitive to other foods (crazy fussiness this morning has me suspecting beef), but she's healthy and happy, and I know when to stop obsessing. Some of those closest to me might have trouble believing that, but I promise it's true! :)

Q: Isn't this so annoying for you? You love dairy! I couldn't live without dairy!

A: At first, it was a bit inconvenient. But I had long suspected a dairy intolerance of my own. Sure enough, once it was all out of my system, I truly did not miss it. I used to crave cheese like crazy, and now I don't crave it at all. When I'm with family and everyone else is having ice cream for dessert, I'm not the least bit jealous. I'm far less prone to bloating and digestive discomfort. I feel happier in general. I do not miss dairy. I plan on continuing to avoid it as a rule, even when Lily is weaned and enjoying cow's milk and cheese.

Food intolerances are more common than most people think, and this whole process has made me more aware of those foods that seem to trigger bad reactions in me. When certain foods are simply not an option, it makes me work harder to eat healthfully. I feel like my entire day-to-day life has improved. In short, I do not feel as though I have been sentenced to a sad, dairy-free existence. I am happy!

In conclusion...

Lily is a sensitive baby. Certain foods irritate her. She has very sensitive skin. Most lotions, body wash and detergents give her rashes. And now I'm finding with solid foods, very rarely does she have no reaction. Banana gives her a rash. Toast made her gassy. Potato (or maybe the little bit of onion or butter it was cooked with) gives her a rash. I've been calling myself lazy because I don't give her much solid food, but these sensitivities are the reason why I'm a little skittish. So, at seven months of age, she continues to be 99% breastfed. She doesn't need cereal or purees for nutrition and they don't serve any function in teaching her how to eat, so I'm going to keep giving her what's best and let everything else happen organically.

Kellymom.com is a well-respected source for breastfeeding information. A got a lot of my facts from here.

Seven Months

Lily's been sitting up for a while, but lately she's gotten to be quite the pro! With the Boppy positioned around her, she doesn't tumble to the ground so easily.

I have to share this video from today. She was really loving the camera!

And, by the way, Miss Lily turned seven months yesterday! That made me realize that this kid is closer to one year than birth. And the shades of toddlerhood are just starting to reveal themselves. With the smiles and interaction come. . .opinions. Not always a bad thing, but a small child does not know how to manage her opinions, so I will have to do a lot of that for her. No, this paper napkin is not appropriate to play with. Yes, I know you want that napkin, but you can have this toy. Oh, you still want that napkin even though you can't see it anymore. WHINING WILL NOT BE TOLERATED, YOUNG LADY. Ahem.

But on the more delightful side of Lily's opinions, she is showing herself to be quite the daddy's girl. Not only is my former mini-me looking more like Erich, she also looks for him, smiles at his presence, giggles with him and generally seems to prefer when he's around. This makes his short trips out of town a bit more challenging, but we shall manage.

What else? She's saying "ma-ma-ma" but I'm not quite sure if it means anything yet. Sometimes she babbles up a storm. On the solid food front, after being lazy and out of our routine for a few weeks, I've resumed high chair time. Today she attacked some sweet potato, and I think she may have swallowed up to half of what she played with! [Or, for the grammar nazis, "up to half of that with which she played."] Her very functional gag reflex (gag, cough, smile, dribble, smile) rejected the rest.

And that's all I've got for now.

Solid Foods

Six months today! One big six-month milestone is the introduction of solid foods. Lily's been watching us eat pretty closely for several weeks. She has also started making chewing motions when we eat and reaching for our food. AND she's really good at grasping objects and bringing them to her mouth. All these are good signs that she's ready to start the process of eating like a big girl. And even though she's only my first baby, I can't say I'm thrilled with how quickly this is all happening. It feels like the beginning of the end of her babyhood (as well as, let's face it, glorious lactational amenorrhea).

We've decided that baby-led weaning is the way to go. Breastfeeding is so ridiculously foolproof--nature's orginal supply-and-demand system--that I don't want to start really complicating my life with cereals and purees that Lily doesn't actually need for nutrition. Transitioning to solids right now is about her learning how to feed herself, not about getting more food stuffed in her face.

Monday night we sat her in the high chair with food for the first time. We happened to be eating some potatoes, so I put a few specks on her tray.

I quickly realized (duh) that said specks were a little too tiny for her to grasp at this stage in her fine motor development.

So she was more interested in her surroundings, including this tasty tray.

The next day, she was getting bored and squirmy, so we tried some toast. That was really fun to play with!

And once I demonstrated to her that it was for eating, she started putting it in her mouth. At least a few crumbs got swallowed.

Finally, yesterday we had some cauliflower and broccoli, of which I gave her a piece of each. Another slice of toast rounded out her collection of high chair tray toys:

"Yay, toys!"

"Still not sure this is really food. But it is a crumbly toy."

"Must study. Must concentrate."

(This broccoli was actually a little too al dente for actual baby consumption. Next time will be better!)

"Crumbs. I gots 'em."

We didn't get around to any high chair time today. But I did pick up more baby-friendly foods like sweet potatoes, bananas, avocados and other fruits at the store. Can't wait for more sessions of food discovery!