I'm Out of Here

I'm going to go on a vacation. Since a real vacation just can't happen right now for a million reasons, it's going to have to be a pretend vacation. Right now, I'll take a pretend vacation over no vacation at all.

I'm going by myself. I hop in my luxury car for a leisurely two-hour drive through no major traffic to a tropical beach. As soon as I arrive at my hut, I slip into the most comfortable swimsuit in the world, and I don't even care if I look good in it because there's no one around for miles. After I take a dip in the 70-degree water, I park myself on a chaise with a cooler full of beer and a stack of books I've been meaning to read.

When I get sleepy, I take a nap. When I get hungry, I eat delicious and nutritious fresh foods which have required no preparation by me.

Erich and Lily are allowed to visit. Lily is always in a good mood, and when she's sleepy, she lays down in her own little bed which she likes and takes a nap or sleeps for an entire night as the case may be. When she's hungry, she eats normal big girl food with her full set of teeth. Erich and I enjoy a candlelit dinner in which no one throws any food on the floor, and even if someone does, I don't have to clean it up.

I wear beautiful sundresses. My hair gets that ocean wave. My skin gets suntanned. At no point am I the least bit cold.

Coughs, colds, runny noses, ear infections, antibiotics, and ibuprofen are all unheard of and/or unnecessary. (Imagine such a magical world!)

This vacation lasts for one month and not a day less.

Thanks, Imagination. That sort of helped for a few minutes.