Somebody Call a WAAAAAAmbulance!

Why does a blank text box on the internet seem like a strong invitation to complain? I spend  most of my time pretty happy and content. But I don't really need to vent when I'm happy! And there's always at least one person to share it with.

But when I'm sick, miserable and tired of life I'm usually also feeling alone. I just feel like someone out there has to listen and be sympathetic and then. . .that will somehow. . .help, I guess? I can't tell you the number of Tweets I've composed in my head and forbidden myself to actually type for fear of giving the entire Internet the impression that I'm nothing but a miserable complainer.

That being said, I am so SICK of being SICK. I know I'm not alone in this assessment: This has been the worst winter ever for sickness. For as long as I can remember, I would get sick once or twice a year. In adulthood, this would usually end up being a fall cold and a late winter cold, and if I was really unlucky I would get a fever and really have to lie down, but that wasn't an every year kind of thing. In this household of three, someone has been sick continuously since early January. And I'm not even going into the viruses of last calendar year. I held off on getting sick this year until mid-February, but once I got started, there was no stopping.

Around February 17, I started feeling the tickle and I knew I was getting the cold of which Erich had just suffered the worst. I felt bad for close to a week and then it tapered off into manageable but annoying congestion. Fearing a sinus infection, I made sure to blow my nose and keep it clear! What a JOKE, because two days after the congestion finally seemed to end, I started feeling bad again. That was a Thursday. By Saturday evening, my ear hurt. By Sunday, I was experiencing the worst pain of my life, and that is not an exaggeration. I probably should have gone to the ER, where I would have been prescribed pain meds that were up to the task. But I went to the doctor on Monday morning and confirmed the diagnosis: severe middle ear infection, perforated ear drum and infected ear canal. I was completely useless and in severe pain for about three days, and I still felt pretty crummy for a complete week.

Just after my 10-day course of antibiotics ended, I was suddenly congested. Another cold! This one seemed milder, so I rode it out. But today, a week later, I feel sick again. Not still. AGAIN. Sore throat. Sore body. Actually, my throat's kind of on fire. Lord, have mercy!

So, Internet, I'm feeling pretty miserable right now. Thanks for listening.

I'm Out of Here

I'm going to go on a vacation. Since a real vacation just can't happen right now for a million reasons, it's going to have to be a pretend vacation. Right now, I'll take a pretend vacation over no vacation at all.

I'm going by myself. I hop in my luxury car for a leisurely two-hour drive through no major traffic to a tropical beach. As soon as I arrive at my hut, I slip into the most comfortable swimsuit in the world, and I don't even care if I look good in it because there's no one around for miles. After I take a dip in the 70-degree water, I park myself on a chaise with a cooler full of beer and a stack of books I've been meaning to read.

When I get sleepy, I take a nap. When I get hungry, I eat delicious and nutritious fresh foods which have required no preparation by me.

Erich and Lily are allowed to visit. Lily is always in a good mood, and when she's sleepy, she lays down in her own little bed which she likes and takes a nap or sleeps for an entire night as the case may be. When she's hungry, she eats normal big girl food with her full set of teeth. Erich and I enjoy a candlelit dinner in which no one throws any food on the floor, and even if someone does, I don't have to clean it up.

I wear beautiful sundresses. My hair gets that ocean wave. My skin gets suntanned. At no point am I the least bit cold.

Coughs, colds, runny noses, ear infections, antibiotics, and ibuprofen are all unheard of and/or unnecessary. (Imagine such a magical world!)

This vacation lasts for one month and not a day less.

Thanks, Imagination. That sort of helped for a few minutes.