The Piano Saga

One of the first big purchases I made after getting married was my very first piano of my own. As a piano teacher, I knew I'd need an instrument to teach on, and I really needed an instrument to practice on as well!

I did a lot of research and went out shopping a few times, and I eventually settled on a new Nordiska from an out-of-the way shop in a tiny south suburb. This shop was owned by Steve, a piano technician, and his wife. I had gotten a very strong endorsement from a trusted mentor-type, and I was pleased with my purchase. It included two free tunings and delivery. Nice!

I got this piano in the late Fall of 2007. Over the following Winter, I noticed a few problems. Actually, Erich was playing around a little bit, working his way through an adult beginning piano method book for fun. When he pressed one of the keys, I noticed it would trill a little bit. (I later learned this is called a "double blow.") I thought it was his untrained touch. But when it started double blowing when I played, and on more and more keys, I got concerned. It also happened all the time with my students. Fed up, I called Steve. He told me he would come look at it but that it was probably a problem with how it was being played. This excuse raised a red flag for me, since pianos are meant to be played softly as well as loud, and though I'm not a professional concert pianist, I think I have enough decent technique that it can't have been my fault. Moreover, this problem never happened in the shop when I played it for over half an hour!

So Steve came, adjusted a few keys but expressed reticence to tamper with the action too much since there would be sacrifices in sound or something. It was better for a little while, then got bad again. My desire to practice at home was squelched, and I had to apologize continually to my students when the piano would not behave for them.

Around April, the weather warmed up, the humidity increased, and the piano seemed to cure itself. Aha! We had a humidity problem! The following Fall, when it started happening again, I called Steve and asked about a Dampp-Chaser. He told me he'd love to sell me one and that it would definitely be good to have, but it's really expensive and I would be just as well off with a big humidifier from a hardware store. He was right! As long as we kept the humidity level above 45% or so, the piano would behave (for the most part). There were added benefits as well--no more shooting lightning bolts across the room or sinus discomfort from dryness. I really appreciated Steve's honesty about the humidifier!

As you know, we moved this past Summer. I had the piano moved by professionals and waited a few weeks for the piano to get used to its new environment. And then, I am embarrassed to say, I kept putting off getting it tuned. I couldn't decide who to call as I had already used my two free tunings, and I didn't want to continue using Steve since he was based so far away. So finally last week, unable to ignore the tuning problem any longer, I finally called the local tuner I had been recommended years ago and whose name I would give my students' parents. Art was able to come this morning.

He got going with the tuning, but after a while, he started muttering under his breath and called me over. There was a piece, a wooden strip called a "let-off something-or-other" (okay, not his exact words, but I'm not a piano technician) that was cracked. He discovered it because he couldn't understand why some of the keys were bouncing weirdly. He told me in his 30 years of working on pianos, he's never encountered this before. Well, I'm so glad my piano can be the first! He tried gluing it, but about 20 minutes later, I heard some frustrated muttering again. It was broken clean in half and he would have to fix it at his studio.

Turns out, he knows Steve (I can't imagine the Chicagoland piano technician crowd is that extensive) and understood the piano would still be under warranty. But he is taking it upon himself to fix the problem, figuring it would take weeks if I went through Steve. He removed the entire action (pretty much everything the between the keys and the strings) and will fix it up there, and bring it back here. Name that quote!

I explained to him a little bit of my history with this piano. He seemed very frustrated on my behalf. He said Steve should have been able to adjust it, and there is nothing wrong with the way I played it! He said no change of weather should alter the instrument that much. He's found the problem and is confident he'll be able to fix it but apologized that it might not be ready till Monday or Tuesday. No problem with me; I'm glad it's finally getting fixed!

Before I got a chance to ask, he told me on his way out that I will not have to pay for this--he's sending the bill to Steve!

It Worked!

Get back up off the floor. Yes, I know I'm blogging for the second time this month after two months off. It's okay!

Anyway, my problem from last week seems to have been resolved. For a few days, I really fretted because I hadn't heard back from the mom. Then, sometime over the weekend, I decided to stop expending emotional energy on the whole deal. By today, I figured she either didn't get the email or read it and didn't have a major problem with it. We've never had awkward situations like this before, and even though I would do many things differently than she does, I think we're both interested in keeping the peace. Despite the respect issue, she is pretty supportive in general.

Without any hard proof, it seems like the latter was the case: email read, no problem. Today, she had the complete stack of books. We had pleasant interactions, and things just felt like they were back on track with me in charge of what gets taught. It's hard to describe, but the feeling was palpable. Everything's going to be okay, and I don't think I have to worry about losing these students. There was even a rare appearance from the dad, who thanked me for everything I do. Well! Thank you!

So, I'm in a good mood now, and rather proud of myself for standing my ground. If I had stewed a few more days, I probably would have just dropped it and tried to move on in my inferior position. But this way is much better. :)

I am not your cleaning lady

No matter what I do, it seems there will always be people out there who see their piano teacher as someone who simply performs a service. Most of my students' parents are pretty good and understanding: they know that in the absence of me, they themselves could not teach their kids how to play piano. But some just see me as the cleaning lady, someone who will do their dirty work for them and to whom they can issue instructions and expect things to be done their own way. I had an encounter this week, similar to one I've had in the past, which made me feel so disrespected that I just couldn't stand for it.

Unfortunately, this puts me on dangerous ground. As of last April, I had 18 students. I started this school year with 15. Two dropped out for volleyball season and haven't returned. Two more just dropped last week because of distance and schedule restraints. One dropped a few weeks ago inexplicably, though I suspect that she is overwhelmed by middle school, as many of my students seem to be. One stopped early in the school year because I wouldn't come to their house any more and the mom just couldn't handle driving ten minutes to my house. I picked up one new student. And I have another who is taking this month off because she made the cheerleading squad. Her mom, the best and most understanding of them all (and a school teacher to boot), promises she'll be back, and I believe her.

If you're keeping track, that leaves nine students at the moment, exactly half of the number from last Spring. So from a monetary perspective, I don't want to be in a tiff with the mom of two more students, one of whom is now in sixth grade and losing interest fast. My maternity leave could very well sound the death knell, and then I'll be down even more students.

But I have my integrity! And this mom, while very friendly, has consistently treated me like the hired help. Her daughter originally took piano lessons with my former roommate, who taught at a commercial music school during college. When this friend decided to stop teaching, I took on this girl as well as her younger brother as a beginner. A lot of time has passed, and I am clearly not a college student, but I think this mom still sees me as a student-type or brand new teacher. I question why she finds it worthwhile to pay me so much to have her kids in piano lessons when it doesn't seem valued at all. To this mom, things aren't worth doing if they're not SUPER FUN! or at least not too hard for the kids. I think "healthy challenge" isn't in her vocabulary. She's the type who seems to be to her kids a friend first and a life coach/mom second. Basically, she's a good example of who I don't want to be as a mom.

Each week with these kids is like a black hole of chaos in my teaching schedule. Even though the kids are 11 and 9, they never bring their own books to their lesson or make any effort to know what they have to practice. They are both so energetic and unfocused, it takes me forever just to get them to sit down and play their songs. And mom just goes ahead and does everything for them. And if they have a day off school, it's an automatic break from lessons. Because it's a day off! It's a time to go have FUN!

Enough background. Yesterday, these kids came for their first lessons back after two weeks off (because there's sooo much going on and it's just soooo hard to reschedule!), and the mom brought only a collection of Christmas books for them to work on. They each have a lesson book and a theory book as well as a third book from the same curriculum, which gives their lessons structure. At this time of year, Christmas songs are extra. But this mom unilaterally decided that what's fun about piano is playing Christmas songs and "with everything going on," she just wanted me to teach them how to play the Christmas songs they like. No discussion, just railroading, all while acting sickly sweet and friendly. She talked down to me and never let me finish a sentence. I was a bit surprised and highly insulted. She may have been able to tell, but I don't think she believed it mattered.

I could tell that no matter what I tried to say, she was going to refuse to even bring their lesson books to their next lesson. I fumed over this for the rest of the evening, and when I got home, I wrote this email:

Hi [Rude Lady],

I felt like we weren't communicating very well this evening, so I hope you don't mind if I clarify a few things over email. I'd like your thoughts as well, as I'm not sure if we're seeing eye-to-eye just yet.

I did feel a bit railroaded by your announcement that you would like [girl] and [boy] to work on Christmas songs only. With you leaving their other books at home, I felt I had no say in the matter, which makes me feel disregarded and disrespected as their teacher. I am all for them playing songs they enjoy, but I always prefer to start from a foundational approach. Their lesson books serve the purpose of teaching them to read music and play with more skill, which in turn makes the "fun" songs easier and more enjoyable.

One great thing about piano lessons is how flexible they can be compared to classes in school because of the one-on-one nature. I think you'll agree I've always been very flexible! But I really would have preferred discussing this matter ahead of time rather than having it thrust upon me at their first lesson in three weeks.

[Paragraph with details of each kid, conceding the girl's waning interest and my willingness to focus on one song at a time with her, and respectfully asking her to send the boy's books with him since he practices a lot and has a lot of interest.]

Bottom line: the structure of their lesson book curriculum make the fun songs more rewarding. I appreciate your efforts in working with me to make sure [girl] and [boy] get everything they can out of piano lessons. Let me know what you think or if there's something missing here that I hadn't considered.

Thanks,

Susan

Unfortunately, I've never actually exchanged emails with this woman, so I'm not sure if she'll get it. But talking on the phone just wasn't an option. The more I think about this, the more I realize that I don't care whether they quit or not. If not, I keep getting their money. If they do quit, my weekly headache is gone. I've never advertised, so if it comes to that, I can do it. I've bent as far backwards as I'm willing to go, so I'll just see where it goes from here.

Frustrations

I have a certain piano student that comes to my house on Wednesdays at 4:00. This piano student came into my studio last summer, when her mom contacted me about starting her in piano lessons to help her read music. She's in eighth grade and sings in a rather prestigious children's chorus in the Chicago area, but she can't read a lick of music. I assured her mother that piano lessons would be a great way for her to learn to read music.

So we set up a time to meet, I got piano books for her and waited for her when the time came. She never showed up. The next week, I made sure I was home at that time; maybe I misunderstood our start date. No show. In fact, the next three weeks, they didn't show up. I had already written them off, when I got another call from the mother, who told me they had gotten really busy and weren't able to start, but now they were ready. STRIKE ONE.

Student shows up for her first lesson and I immediately notice she has trouble concentrating. She talks a mile a minute and jumps from subject to subject, excited to be in a new place with a new person, but somewhat incapable of focusing on the task at hand. Amongst her ramblings, I gather this tidbit: "I used to be special needs, but you can't really tell anymore." I don't know what this means, and I'm a little irked at the mother for not mentioning any special needs. I wonder whether the books I selected, which would be fine for an average eighth-grader, might be a little too much for this student. Furthermore, as the weeks go by, I notice that she virtually never practices, and every lesson is pretty much a rehashing of the one before, with perhaps 3-8 minutes of new material. I start to dread lessons with this challenging student. STRIKE TWO.

As the months go by, the mother calls me on more than one occasion to cancel a lesson only a few hours in advance, when my policy clearly states that I need 24 hours' notice. Usually I'm just relieved that I don't have to see the student and I don't strongly enforce the policy. But, when the mother starts paying me late in the month instead of at the first lesson of the month, I feel the need to lay down the law. STRIKE THREE.

A few weeks before Christmas, the mother calls me to ask for my help. The student wants to audition for a summer program at Interlochen, and she needs to send in a recording. Her application is due the next week. Can I help make a recording and accompany her? I don't have any recording equipment, so I tell her a few people I think she could call, but I don't have many answers. I can accompany her if she gets me the music ASAP and pays me what I decide is a fair fee. I keep getting calls from her with updates and schedule demands. Her problem has become my problem, and I'm unhappy. Eventually, I have to drive deep into the depths of Aurora to meet them at some recording studio to make this recording. Luckily, it doesn't take too long, and she promptly pays me. Still, I call this STRIKE FOUR.

We resume lessons after the New Year, and the student comes in my house, shoes caked with snow. However, she does not wear socks. Like, ever. I have her wipe her feet thoroughly but keep her shoes on, because I'd rather have mud and snow than sweaty, stinky feet on my floor. She apologizes but never actually wears socks. GROSS. That'll be STRIKE FIVE.

Student shows up to her lesson more than once without her books. I have to send her home. STRIKE SIX.

Things with the student improve. Her concentration improves, she starts practicing more, and I hear that she was accepted to Interlochen. She can't be all bad. (But she does inform me with much gravity in her voice that she believes God wants her to go to Interlochen.)

Clearly, though, I have put up with a lot from this family. Surprisingly, every time I need to make a schedule adjustment due to other professional demands, the mother acts completely wronged. Example: "No, we can't come half an hour later at a different location that is actually closer to our home, especially ON SUCH SHORT NOTICE. We will HAVE TO CANCEL THIS WEEK." Well, hmmph. I'm sorry to have disrupted your life, your highness. Because when you have demands, it's not like my time is important to me.

For the entire month of April, I have to adjust this student's lesson time. Due to my involvement as the musical director of my church's school's junior high musical, I have to be at rehearsals each Wednesday afternoon. I called the mother a few days ago to try to find an alternate time that would work. I strongly suggested a time on Thursday when I have an opening, but I make it clear that we could find another time if that didn't work. I got a call from the father telling me the student is still out of town from spring break and won't be at her lesson this week, but the schedule change question goes unanswered. But then I got a message back from the mother which I will now paraphrase:

"I got your message about changing the lesson time to Thursdays. [semi-dramatic pause] That will NOT WORK. She has choir at that time. And if Wednesday doesn't work anymore, perhaps we need to... FIND A NEW TEACHER. Maybe we can find another time, but Wednesday at 4:00 is really the only time that works, so let us know if that becomes available again. Otherwise, I don't know. Give me a call back, blah blah blah blah blah."

So I need to call her back. I'm certain I will get her voice mail, so I have to come up with a good message. Here are the options I've thought of so far:

1. "I can do later in the evening on Wednesday. And again, this is only for a few weeks, and then we can go back to the regular time. I appreciate your flexibility on this, and I understand if we just need to take a few weeks off."

The spineless response. I like having as many students as I have, and it's easier to keep one than find a new one. It might not be worth it, though, so I could go for a different approach....

2. "Gee, I'm sorry to hear that, but you have to do what's best for you. Good luck finding another teacher that's available on Wednesdays at 4:00. Really, I'm sure that will be easier than finding one other time in your schedule for three weeks that will work for you. And that's probably also easier than taking a three-week hiatus from lessons so that your daughter can keep not practicing. Be my guest, and have a nice life."

Well, that's a little sarcastic. I could try...

3. "Are you threatening me? Seriously? I teach your daughter FOR THE MONEY. But I can do without the money if you're going to SERIOUSLY be this difficult over this little matter. Everyone else I work with is happy to be flexible with lesson times when need arises, so I really don't see why this is so hard for you."

Okay, I won't say that, but I will be thinking it.

4. "I got your message, and I'm sorry the alternate time won't work. If Wednesday at 4:00 is really the only time that will work for you, then I guess we'll have to take a break for the month of April. If you don't find another teacher in that time, you're welcome to have [student] start up again in May. Let me know what you would prefer. Thank you."

Ah, that might be it.

Halloween Piano Recital

Last Sunday, I had a piano recital with sixteen of my students. My friend Melissa and two of her students joined us. I came up with the idea during the summer to have a Halloween-themed recital. I knew from back when I worked at a music store that there was an abundance of piano solos written just for Halloween. I used to think that was dumb. In fact, I thought the idea of having individual sheets for elementary piano solos was kind of dumb, but that was just because I hated keeping that section of the store neat. There was no easy way to organize them, and they never stayed in alphabetical order! And they always got bent and crumpled. Why would piano teachers even bother with them?

But now that I'm actually a piano teacher, I see the single sheet solo as a very useful motivational tool. Many of my students don't like to learn songs that they've never heard before, and if they get a familiar song, that's what they'll invest the time to practice. But when I started handing out original Halloween solos specifically selected for them, I was surprised at some of the eyes that lit up. In some cases, they learned their solos so fast, I had to run out and get more!

This was my third piano recital I've put on, and it was by far the best. The anticipation was the greatest, and only two of my 18 students didn't participate--one is a brand new beginner and the other was still recovering from a broken thumb. I also got great feedback from parents and students that this event was actually fun and not just one of those kids' things that is so tedious to sit through. I got the impression that they all want to do a Halloween recital every year. I'm not sure if I want to get stuck in that rut, but I certainly will select a theme for each recital and really get into it.

Here is a reformatted version of the program, which I kicked off with J.S. Bach's Toccata in d minor on the organ (students' names all but eliminated, of course):

I. Spooky Tunes

It’s a Scary Night! by Dennis Alexander

Scary Story by Robert D. Vandall

A

Grumpy Old Troll

The Haunted Mouse by Randall and Nancy Faber

A

Yo-Ho-Ho! by Jennifer Linn

H

II. Wizards and More

Shadows by Alexander, et al

Hedwig’s Theme from Harry Potter by John Williams

J

Accidental Wizard by Phillip Keveren

C

Merlin’s Dream by Peggy Otwell

A

III. Witches Galore

Mystery Movie by Alexander, et al

Witches’ Waltz by Robert D. Vandall

O

The Wily Witch by Jane Smisor Bastien

N

Halloween Witches by Jane Smisor Bastien

S

IV. Pumpkins and Jack-o-Lanterns

Pumpkin Party by Jane Smisor Bastien

The Runaway Pumpkin by Elizabeth W. Greenleaf

C

V. Scary Monsters

Monster March by Jennifer Linn

K

Something’s Under My Bed by Kevin R. Olson

R

VI. Not-so-scary

The I Like Song

Wind in the Trees by Randall and Nancy Faber

M

Olympic Processions by Palmer, Manus, Lethco

Irish Wedding Dance by Traditional

R

In Church by Ludwig Schytte

Minuet by Johann Sebastian Bach

A

First Light by Traditional Gaelic

Yellow Submarine by John Lennon, Paul McCartney

A

Bounces by Italo Taranta

Hey Jude by John Lennon, Paul McCartney

T

The Phantom of the Opera by Andrew Lloyd Webber

C

And one last picture, the "scary version:"

September

I love September. That would be why I chose to get married in September. Now that it's here again, I've been thinking a lot about where I was and what I was doing this time last year.

When I remember last year, I always thank God that my life is so much more stable now. Late August was almost too much to bear last year. We were coming down to the wire with wedding plans, I was starting the school year as a teacher in the church's school for the first time, and people were calling me for piano lessons left and right. And my piano schedule was like a jigsaw puzzle where the picture on the box was constantly changing. I had moved out of my old place, so I had to teach at a combination of church and people's homes until Erich and I got a piano for our place, where I did not yet officially live. On top of that, I was preparing all of my students for my name change, which I was barely getting used to myself.

Again, I love September and could not have asked for a better wedding, but in retrospect, it might have been much better for my mental health to have gotten married in the spring.

Life is a bit crazy again this year. I'm not teaching a school choir, but I do have about 18 piano students and I'm directing the handbell choir at church, which is just getting started. But compared to last year with the wedding plans, this is total cake. So with the extra time I have left I've been doing what I love best: reminiscing!

We really did have an awesome wedding. And we had a great band who played at the reception! The drummer of the band, the Endless Knights, cuts my dad's hair and keeps him informed of the band's upcoming gigs. My dad, wisely, has never promised to be there. (I'm sure the wedding gig made up for my dad's lack of attendance at other gigs.) But ever since the wedding we have tried to go out to see them, Erich and me and my parents, and we could never make it work until this past Friday, when we went out to see them play at a local pub.

They surpassed even my best memory of them. In my opinion, they embody everything that's good about secular music. The band consists of five people: drummer, keyboardist extraordinaire, bassist, female vocalist, and guitarist/lead vocalist. They're not much to look at: they're all 50-somethings with day jobs, but they are all skilled musicians who obviously love to play. Their style is what I consider to be just perfect for a wedding: they play mostly classic rock but a little bit of everything and they're very easy to dance to. After their first set break, they started rifling through music and found a tango to try to entice Erich and I to get up and dance. So how could we say no, especially with a little "liquid confidence" in our systems?

Remember our wedding tango? Remember??? Here it is again, in case you forgot:



Our tango on Friday night was not nearly so good. But it was fun! And they played a few swing numbers later, to which we also danced.

I really enjoyed the chance to enjoy listening to the band and dancing. I had hoped to do more of that at my wedding, but there were just too many great people to talk to. This felt like a perfect way to remember and supplement our wedding festivities. And we'll definitely get out to see the Endless Knights again sometime.

Employment

Summer's here, and my piano students are dropping like flies. They'll be back, probably when school starts again, but there's little I can do to force them to stick around. Many of them are staying with me, but between vacation schedules and summer camps, it will be far from regular.

This really sucks because Erich and I are hoping to save as much money as we possibly can if we want to be in a house within 2-5 years. I'm not making money sitting around!

Maybe I'm a defeatist, but I just don't think I'll be able to get any new students for the summer, even if I advertise. I suspect my most recent summer cancellation is an economical decision on their part. With gas prices where they are, piano lessons start to seem like quite the luxury, and if it's hard enough for some students to continue year-round, it will be downright impossible to draw in new clientèle. And then there's the age-old trend of people starting lessons when home life stabilizes in the fall. That's just how it is.

So what can I do? I'm really hesitant to give up the level of flexibility I have with my piano studio. I need it for the church music work I do, of which I have plenty this summer, but unfortunately, not for more money.

Sometimes I think I should just try to get some type of office-y day job, but I have no idea what kind of job to look for and whether I have the necessary skills. But I would have such a hard time committing to anything. I will to be a SAHM sometime, and I would have been starting in August. That didn't work out, and now it's anyone's guess as to when that will become my reality.

I hear retail calling my name, but I really, really, really, really, really, really, really don't want to do that.

How in the world can someone like me make extra money? House-sitting? Babysitting? I'd do any of that, but I don't know anyone who needs those services, and I'm too unmotivated to advertise that kind of work. If my blog made me money, I might be motivated enough to write in it more often.

And now these ponderances are making me grumpy. Back to cleaning the house. (Housewife! I'm good at that [ish]! But...no money. Boo.)

Believable? Perhaps

I've been really, really busy! Ah, but you already knew that. Must keep blog fresh. So I'll stick to updates.

Monday: Was going along okay, had Agape, then some students, then I went to the Plex to try to get some computer-related thing to work so I could print out a list of people so I could start the seating chart, and it just. Wouldn't. Work. And then I had a voice mail from someone who was at Bethany while I was at a student's house wondering why I wasn't there because she thought we had a lesson. I listened to this twenty minutes before I had to be back to Bethany for an actual scheduled lesson. But said lesson did not take place because I indulged myself in a bit of a meltdown. I saw no other choice than to give into my desire to sob uncontrollably: Erich was gone for another week, the wedding was in less than two weeks, and I had to make good use of every free hour. And that wasn't happening. I looked forward and saw the possibility of doom, and it was very scary. Luckily, the student's mom was very understanding and rescheduled for the next day (I'm sure I sounded very meltdown-y on the phone). Then I needed Erich to help me out of my pit of despair and remind me that the wedding would not be a disaster. He was excellent and put off dinner to get my computer problem to work (why can't a simple mail merge be simple? Whyyyyyy?), though he did sound a bit frightened of me. Can't blame him.

And Monday's story ends happily, because with my mom's help and then Erich's over the phone, I finished the seating chart! (Of course, some of it now has to be redone because to some people "The favor of a reply is requested by August 23" means nothing. But that's okay because there is still enough time.) So, hooray.

Tuesday: After a stupid morning where I got the feeling both my mother and I were trying to walk through two feet of slime, we finally made it out of the house with my reception dress and undergarments and drove to Oak Park, where sister Anne's mother-in-law, Jan, was at Anne and Jed's place with her new puppy and... end of sentence. Okay, that got too long. Point=Jan is making a few slight but necessary alterations to my dress. She rocks. The four of us went out to lunch, which was very nice. Then my mom and I went back to Naperville (with my veil, which Anne made pretty) in time for me to go teach for three and a half hours, followed by the most boring (but quick) church voters meeting I've ever been too. And believe me, when it comes to church meetings, boring means good because contention amongst a church body depresses one as nothing else can. Tuesday night, Erich and I hammered out the little details of the reception, which felt really good to get done.

Wednesday: Played for school chapel, met with Phil re: October and stuff, did some work for Agape then taught, then I vegged at the Plex for a while before going shopping with my mom at Carson's which is having a Goodwill Sale right now, which is really great because I got one item 20% off which would never go on sale, and a few other things I needed such as sunglasses, because, hellooo, I'm going to Hawaii. And then I got to hang out with Erin and Alayna, which is always super fun. (Her new thing: "Look! A nano [piano]!" or "Oh, look! A puzzle!" for example. Very cute, as always.) Wednesday was a good day.

Today: More shopping! First we (Mom and I) went to the new Ulta in downtown Naperville. I love this Ulta because in the regular cosmetics (like Revlon, L'Oreal, Maybelline, etc.), the items are displayed according to type, not brand. So I merely had to look in the mascara section for waterproof mascara (guess what for) instead of trudging between the different brands to compare. So I filled all of my cosmetic needs, and then we went to Target and got fun things like snacks for the limo ride, and goodies for the welcome bags for people who are staying at the Hilton.

Then I taught. And today is Thursday, which means I was in people's homes. And I am overjoyed to report that my new streamlined Thursdays (without SORM) are so much easier now! And the best part was when I went to the second house, of little adorable five-year-old Grace, and there was a wedding gift on the coffee table! They were so kind and thoughtful to get me and Erich an egg cooker and some cutting boards we registered for. And Grace wrote the card. It's times like these I feel so blessed to have these relationships with genuinely kind people. :)

Then was choir rehearsal. I love singing. And the choir is going to sound so good on the wedding day! Yay.

Tomorrow: I'm going to order my bridesmaid dress for Sarah's wedding. (I really am, Sarah, I have an appointment and everything!) And then I have my practice hair style for the wedding in the afternoon! I'm so pleased that my mom and I have gotten so much shopping done already this week and we don't have to squeeze it all in tomorrow. Erich's finally coming home tomorrow! :) And his plane lands at 10:45pm. :( But, contrary to Monday afternoon's forecast, the wedding will not be a disaster! :) In fact, I think it will be pretty darn fantastic!

I originally meant for this to be a short post reporting how many hours remained until the ceremony. But then I just kept typing. And then I realized that my math is bad (hence, the whole music teacher thing) and the number of hours I was going to report was wrong. But now I've checked myself and now, at 12:38am on September 14, I am getting married in 215 hours and 22 minutes.



P.S.: The first time I referred to the wedding day as "a week from Saturday" was a bit freaky, truth be told.

Piano Schedule Headaches

About 9 or 10 months ago, I was somehow duped into going into people's homes to teach piano lessons. I had been warned against such propositions, but I was virtually guaranteed a lot of business in a short span of time for a higher fee than I was getting by teaching at home and at church. So I gave in.

The lady who convinced me to do this in the first place figures into this whole saga, and for the purposes of relative anonymity I shall call her "Stressed-Out Realtor Mom," or SORM for short. She wanted lessons for her fifth-grade daughter, who had been taking lessons for several years, and possibly her third-grade daughter if she could convince her. [This is problem "A." She had trouble convincing her 8-year-old daughter to take piano lessons. When and why was it even a question? When I want my children to take piano lessons, I'm pretty sure they will whether they express enthusiasm or not.] She complained (a lot--Problem "B") that life was too hectic and she no longer was willing to drive the older daughter to piano any more (a big, fat, Problem "C"). After several months, I eventually had five students in the same neighborhood and charged too little, as I later discovered. The trouble of going to homes is not just the travel in between, before, and after lessons; it's the absolute scheduling nightmare presented whenever small changes are needed. The first such nightmare-situation occurred at the beginning of the summer, when some people wanted to take lessons earlier, but others couldn't. There was eventually an easy fix that kept people happy: I simply made my last lesson first and kept everyone else the same. But I hate having to contact several people whenever one person cancels just so I don't have to sit in my car for half an hour, and too many times--only two or three, but that's still too many--someone would cancel at the last minute and I'd be screwed. I'm pretty lenient on other days but on Thursdays, I keep your money if you make me sit in my car with nothing to do.

And speaking of Thursdays, that's the day the church choir, Proclaim, rehearses at 7:15, so I absolutely insist on being done teaching at 6:15. And people continue to badger me to change every other factor of my life so I can be at their beck and call! "Can't you come on another day?" No, I am limiting this insanity to one day a week, thank you. "Couldn't you come later?" No, I like to have enough time to eat at least five bites of dinner per day. And this is the main problem with in-home piano lessons: people who have a teacher come to their home and are unwilling to drive their children to piano lessons both have an entitlement "thing" and don't value piano lessons very highly. (They don't expect the t-ball team to practice in their back yard, but the piano teacher should cart her studio around for their convenience, apparently.) Plus, this is a typical Naperville neighborhood of houses built in the last 5-10 years. The homes are large, everyone has a piano (but ironically most of the pianos are no better than your average piece of furniture), and the pervading thought seems to be, "Aww, wouldn't it be great if my kid knew how to play that thing..." They have no real understanding of what I do, and why should they? I magically appear at their doorstep once a week to listen to their kids' lame excuses as to why they haven't practiced.

But it's not as if I don't enjoy it, and I want to stress that not all of them are bad. Actually, some of my Thursday students are my very favorite and have supportive and understanding parents. As far as the actual teaching goes, it is as fulfilling as any other situation. But I'm in a bad place mentally when I'm in a new setting every 30 minutes not knowing whether to expect peace and quiet or, more likely, ringing phones, blaring TVs and screaming siblings. I've become more aware lately that the trouble I go through for this one day is not quite worth the fee I collect; therefore new students are paying more and continuing students will get the new rate at the first of the year. And no one has said a peep because the increase is a lot less than the cost of their daily latte. So there.

So about a month ago, SORM calls me in a breathless hurry. It was the last day to sign up for tennis lessons, "and tennis is really, really important, like, equally important to piano lessons," and the only time she could possibly make tennis lessons fit into her CRAZY AND HECTIC schedule was to have them from 3:30 to 4:30 on Thursdays. Her daughters' piano lessons are 4-5. She makes me afraid of realtors, because she laid on the pressure and needed an answer IMMEDIATELY because she was BACKED INTO A CORNER and this was THE ONLY THING THAT COULD REMOTELY WORK. I was a bit aghast, but I thought, well, tennis lessons are obviously more important than piano if it takes precedence on the family schedule. So I told her we'd have to figure it out. Go ahead and sign up for tennis lessons, and we'll see what happens.

And gosh darn it if I didn't try my best for this woman. My rationale for putting forth such a huge effort was that I didn't want to lose two students. Plus, she sold half her neighbors their homes; I didn't want there to be any bad blood. Option #1 was to move my last student to another day and move everyone else up. I would be done teaching at 6:25 or so, and it would just barely work. Last lesson folks couldn't possibly change, and I couldn't possibly make them--there's no sense in punishing someone for being satisfied. I told as much to SORM and told her I was out of ideas. She came back to say she had spoken with her next-door neighbor, my 5:00 and they said they could do 4:00. But I found this to be extremely suspicious as the 5:00 people were the ones that always begged me to come later because both parents work and it's difficult enough to get their daughter home from day care for a 5:00 lesson. From emailing the 5:00 people I learned that 4:00 would work only some of the time and not as a permanent solution; they really just wanted to stay at 5:00. So I told that to SORM and she panicked. The next Thursday after her daughters' lessons she cornered me and wanted to know my entire teaching schedule and what else could possibly work.

Then she forgot everything I told her, even though she had written it down, and called me the next day, August 24, the day before Erich and I moved. (I remind you that Erich had been gone the past four weeks, the school year had started two days before, and we were both packing like crazy and stressed out.) I was busy when she called but called back as I left my flat and drove to the apartment in Addison. The drive takes 25 minutes; I hung up with her just as I took Erich's exit, two minutes from his old building. She had complained and made excuses and pleaded with me for nearly half an hour when there really were no additional solutions. Her powers were such that I told her I would think about going to her house on Mondays but I would have to get back to her. That was a moment of weakness. (She really wore me down, see.) Luckily, however, I stayed strong and emailed her the following Tuesday: I'm sorry, it just won't work. Victory!

There are numerous other little scheduling difficulties that I could do without, especially given everything else that's going on, and especially given that I'm going to miss three Thursdays in a row due to wedding and honeymoon very soon. It seems like everyone new should just start when I'm back and ready. But at least now my Thursdays are streamlined; I'm down to 4 students, two are favorites, one is enjoyable, and the other one just started. I was going to add another, a close friend of SORM, but it looks like that won't work out with her schedule, and I'm frankly not going to change everything yet again. I'd be happy to let them drop off one by one, or I'll default to a clause I put in my updated policy sheet:

"NOTE – At any time in the future, it may become unfeasible for me to continue in-home lessons. I will give at least two month’s notice should this happen and will offer all in-home students a chance to continue with me in my home."