A Word About Dairy

I believe I've mentioned before that I'm avoiding dairy as a rule. The reasons are two-fold. 1. It bothers Lily via breastmilk. 2. It bothers me.

Sometimes this is hard for people to understand. What, Lily can't have milk? But her entire diet consists of... milk! How silly. Well, it's actually not that silly.

So here's a handy FAQ!

Q: Is Lily lactose intolerant?

A: No. It is extremely rare for a baby to be lactose intolerant, and it may even be impossible. My human milk is full of lactose and she's fine with it. So, again, the issue here is not with lactose.

Q: Is Lily allergic to dairy?

A: No. A true allergy to dairy protein is rare and would result in severe reactions to even a little bit of dairy in my diet. Her reactions are not nearly severe enough to make me suspect an allergy. Her problem seems to be a sensitivity, or intolerance.

Q: Then how do you know she has a problem?

A. The answer to this question derives from a bit of intuition and some simple non-scientific experiments. And, be forewarned, the following paragraphs will talk quite a bit about baby poop.

When Lily was super tiny, she pooped frequently like all newborns do. I started noticing more and more that her poop, instead of being nice and mustard-yellow and seedy, was increasingly green-colored, mucus-y, and watery. And as she got to the age when most babies start consolidating their poops, she continued to poop quite frequently (12x a day). The green mucus concerned me. The lactation consultant and the doctor told me to keep an eye on it but weren't too concerned since she was definitely healthy and gaining weight appropriately. It didn't get worse, but it also did not improve. She also had eczema, skin rashes--both of which she would scratch until she bled--and itchy nose and congestion. Her worst poop days were accompanied by extra fussiness and gas. I must note that Lily is a very easy baby. She has a very even temperament and rarely cries. So her "extra fussiness" probably served to put her in the category of an average baby. But I know my baby, and I knew that she was uncomfortable.

I knew also, from my reading, that it's common for little breastfed babies to be sensitive to certain foods in the mother's diet. Gas-causing vegetables, eggs, meat, and dairy are a few common ones. Usually they outgrow these things. I was very loath to cut anything out of my diet; I simply didn't want to deprive myself of whatever I felt like eating, and I love my ice cream and mac 'n' cheese. But I was also tired of being the "poop-nazi," carefully inspecting every diaper, waiting to see if she outgrew her apparent sensitivity with no action on my part. On a few separate occasions, I cut back on dairy and noticed some improvement. But then we'd have pizza for dinner or I'd have a little of this, a little of that and then we were back to mucus poops and fussiness. Finally, around 3.5months, I decided enough was enough: NO MORE DAIRY.

Even so, I eliminated only obvious dairy. I would still have baked goods, things fried in butter, etc. Again, Lily was not in poor health, I just knew she wasn't feeling well. Within a week of dairy elimination, the poop problems, gas and fussiness, and head-scratching were much improved. I seemed to have my answer. Lily seemed to be much happier for much more of the day, and I was very happy as well.

Q: Would it help if you switched to baby formula?

A. Seeing as formula is made from cow's milk...no. Furthermore, many babies who are sensitive to dairy are also sensitive to soy (my non-scientific experimentation bears this out). That would have me paying top-dollar for nasty hypoallergenic formula. It's far less inconvenient for me to simply alter my diet and for Lily and me to keep receiving all the other benefits of breastfeeding. And what a travesty it would be to have switched to formula and gone through even more problems and detective work without having the option to go back to breastfeeding. For, when it comes to breastmilk, if you don't use it, you lose it.

Q: So, will she outgrow this?

A: All signs point to yes. When I first eliminated dairy, even slight deviations from the rule seemed to make her symptoms come roaring back. Now, if I happen to have something with a little cheese or one spoonful of ice cream, she seems unaffected. However, if I were to treat myself to a full serving of dairy, I believe we would pay for it.

Some of her issues remain. She still scratches her forehead, but we do a better job of keeping her tiny nails trimmed, so she no longer breaks the skin. She still gets nasal congestion and rubs her nose a lot. She still gets mucus in her diaper from time to time, but she no longer gets diarrhea. It's possible that she's sensitive to other foods (crazy fussiness this morning has me suspecting beef), but she's healthy and happy, and I know when to stop obsessing. Some of those closest to me might have trouble believing that, but I promise it's true! :)

Q: Isn't this so annoying for you? You love dairy! I couldn't live without dairy!

A: At first, it was a bit inconvenient. But I had long suspected a dairy intolerance of my own. Sure enough, once it was all out of my system, I truly did not miss it. I used to crave cheese like crazy, and now I don't crave it at all. When I'm with family and everyone else is having ice cream for dessert, I'm not the least bit jealous. I'm far less prone to bloating and digestive discomfort. I feel happier in general. I do not miss dairy. I plan on continuing to avoid it as a rule, even when Lily is weaned and enjoying cow's milk and cheese.

Food intolerances are more common than most people think, and this whole process has made me more aware of those foods that seem to trigger bad reactions in me. When certain foods are simply not an option, it makes me work harder to eat healthfully. I feel like my entire day-to-day life has improved. In short, I do not feel as though I have been sentenced to a sad, dairy-free existence. I am happy!

In conclusion...

Lily is a sensitive baby. Certain foods irritate her. She has very sensitive skin. Most lotions, body wash and detergents give her rashes. And now I'm finding with solid foods, very rarely does she have no reaction. Banana gives her a rash. Toast made her gassy. Potato (or maybe the little bit of onion or butter it was cooked with) gives her a rash. I've been calling myself lazy because I don't give her much solid food, but these sensitivities are the reason why I'm a little skittish. So, at seven months of age, she continues to be 99% breastfed. She doesn't need cereal or purees for nutrition and they don't serve any function in teaching her how to eat, so I'm going to keep giving her what's best and let everything else happen organically.

Kellymom.com is a well-respected source for breastfeeding information. A got a lot of my facts from here.

Seven Months

Lily's been sitting up for a while, but lately she's gotten to be quite the pro! With the Boppy positioned around her, she doesn't tumble to the ground so easily.

I have to share this video from today. She was really loving the camera!

And, by the way, Miss Lily turned seven months yesterday! That made me realize that this kid is closer to one year than birth. And the shades of toddlerhood are just starting to reveal themselves. With the smiles and interaction come. . .opinions. Not always a bad thing, but a small child does not know how to manage her opinions, so I will have to do a lot of that for her. No, this paper napkin is not appropriate to play with. Yes, I know you want that napkin, but you can have this toy. Oh, you still want that napkin even though you can't see it anymore. WHINING WILL NOT BE TOLERATED, YOUNG LADY. Ahem.

But on the more delightful side of Lily's opinions, she is showing herself to be quite the daddy's girl. Not only is my former mini-me looking more like Erich, she also looks for him, smiles at his presence, giggles with him and generally seems to prefer when he's around. This makes his short trips out of town a bit more challenging, but we shall manage.

What else? She's saying "ma-ma-ma" but I'm not quite sure if it means anything yet. Sometimes she babbles up a storm. On the solid food front, after being lazy and out of our routine for a few weeks, I've resumed high chair time. Today she attacked some sweet potato, and I think she may have swallowed up to half of what she played with! [Or, for the grammar nazis, "up to half of that with which she played."] Her very functional gag reflex (gag, cough, smile, dribble, smile) rejected the rest.

And that's all I've got for now.

Solid Foods

Six months today! One big six-month milestone is the introduction of solid foods. Lily's been watching us eat pretty closely for several weeks. She has also started making chewing motions when we eat and reaching for our food. AND she's really good at grasping objects and bringing them to her mouth. All these are good signs that she's ready to start the process of eating like a big girl. And even though she's only my first baby, I can't say I'm thrilled with how quickly this is all happening. It feels like the beginning of the end of her babyhood (as well as, let's face it, glorious lactational amenorrhea).

We've decided that baby-led weaning is the way to go. Breastfeeding is so ridiculously foolproof--nature's orginal supply-and-demand system--that I don't want to start really complicating my life with cereals and purees that Lily doesn't actually need for nutrition. Transitioning to solids right now is about her learning how to feed herself, not about getting more food stuffed in her face.

Monday night we sat her in the high chair with food for the first time. We happened to be eating some potatoes, so I put a few specks on her tray.

I quickly realized (duh) that said specks were a little too tiny for her to grasp at this stage in her fine motor development.

So she was more interested in her surroundings, including this tasty tray.

The next day, she was getting bored and squirmy, so we tried some toast. That was really fun to play with!

And once I demonstrated to her that it was for eating, she started putting it in her mouth. At least a few crumbs got swallowed.

Finally, yesterday we had some cauliflower and broccoli, of which I gave her a piece of each. Another slice of toast rounded out her collection of high chair tray toys:

"Yay, toys!"

"Still not sure this is really food. But it is a crumbly toy."

"Must study. Must concentrate."

(This broccoli was actually a little too al dente for actual baby consumption. Next time will be better!)

"Crumbs. I gots 'em."

We didn't get around to any high chair time today. But I did pick up more baby-friendly foods like sweet potatoes, bananas, avocados and other fruits at the store. Can't wait for more sessions of food discovery!

Nearly Six Months

Tomorrow, my little lady baby will be six months old. So much development in so little time! I mean, she's gone from this:

To this:

In a matter of a few short months!

And I'm blessed with a remarkably easy baby. Despite the endless months of teething that have yet to yield any fruit, a dairy sensitivity and just about every mild-to-moderate infant skin condition known to medicine, Lily is pretty easy to please. And when she isn't, she makes up for it by coming up with a new trick a few days later. Two weeks ago, I started to think she'd never be a roller, since she hadn't rolled over yet. Well, now she rolls every which way and with purpose. Just when I thought she'd never take regular naps (I went a little bit crazy almost every day during her fifth month of life), she's settling into a predictable pattern, which lets me get a lot more done around the house.

I have to continually remind myself of all of the above on days like today and yesterday. Lily must be cooking up something grand (a tooth?!?!? I can only hope; it's probably just a growth spurt) because she's been a bit difficult.

She was happy in the walker for a while:

But that got old, so we moved to the floor:

This child wants to go from flat on her back straight to sitting up. She dreams big.

But then a common scenario from yesterday started to repeat itself: a well-fed and comfortable baby doesn't want to be put down but writhes and kicks when held. As she started to slump over, fighting an afternoon nap

I decided to just flip her over and drape her over my lap.

And wouldn't you know it...

My counterbalancing right hand looks creepy! I mean, she liked it!

In fact, she's getting a bit comfortable. Could it be?

Yes! It's a nap!

And there she still is, pacifier spit out and on the floor. Could someone please bring me a glass of water?

Cloth Diapers: Making It Work

So I have all these diapers--35 now as I just got a new Gro Baby shell and three more liners. They stay nicely folded and prepared on the shelves under the changing table. From there they get snapped or velcro-ed onto my daughter. Then she soils them. So what next?

• Cloth wipes. I have a variety. Five of them came with a Happy Heinys starter set I was given. Those are a bit thick for me. A friend gave me about a dozen, which are handmade and two layers with flannel on one side and terry on the other. Then I got a bunch more at my local cloth diaper store which are just plain cotton flannel squares, and we like them. They are easy to grab and manipulate and they're most like 'sposie wipes. The very great advantage of cloth wipes is that there's no need to separate them from the cloth diapers to throw them away. To prep them, I fold them interleaving (sometimes feels over-the-top, but it sure is convenient when changing a diaper!), soak them in water with a few drops of tea tree oil, squeeze out the excess moisture and store them in a wipes warmer. A good friend clued me in to that method. Lots of cloth diaper companies make a spray to use with dry wipes, but I don't think it's worth it. It just never feels wet enough to get baby's bottom clean enough.
  
• Wet bag. We have two size large totes to alternate. Right now we put it in the Diaper Champ, but it doesn't work very well for cloth diapers, so we intend to get a simple step can to help contain smells. Since Lily is totally breastfed, there's no need to involve the toilet in this stage. We just fold the diaper and pop it in the wet bag. On laundry day, everything goes in the washer, wet bag included.
• On-the-go Wet Bag. I got this as a gift and I loooooooove it. It's a must have, really. It makes it not gross to have wet and poopy diapers in my diaper bag. We also have a small one which I use to pack cloth wipes on the go.

As I said, there is no need yet to involve the toilet. (Hey, did you know that per disposable diaper package directions, you're supposed to dispose of solid waste in your toilet?) But when Lily starts eating solid foods in a few months, we won't be able to just throw everything in the washing machine. That's where flushable diaper liners or a sprayer might come in handy. We'll have to try different things to see what works, and I'll get back to you.

So, laundry! Really not that big of a deal. It's maybe an extra 2-3 loads per week. So the diapers are in the wet bag and ready to be washed. I throw them in the washing machine and do a rinse cycle. Next, I run a full wash cycle on hot (my machine does only cold rinses) using cloth diaper detergent. (I'm going to try different detergents in the future, but it's important that they're additive-free.) It's recommended to use only a little bit of detergent, and no one is kidding when they say that! I've had the problem lately where the diapers smell fine coming out of the dryer, but they smell horrible when they're wet or soiled, the culprit most likely detergent residue (or maybe too much tea tree oil on my wipes? not sure). I had to strip them, putting through the rinse cycle multiple times with a little bit of dish detergent. This has mostly helped, but I still have some problems with my bum Genius diapers repelling moisture. I'm still learning this laundry schtick, but I promise it's not much trouble at all!

After the full wash cycle, I do another rinse to get all the residue out, then I put them all in the dryer! The end! Clean diapers to fold and stuff and otherwise prepare, just like hanging and folding freshly laundered clothes.

So that's cloth diapering. Not any more gross than 'sposies, no multiple extra bags of heavy, stinky trash to drag to the curb each week, they're more comfortable for baby and free of rash- and burn-causing chemicals, they're way cheaper in the long run, and they're CUTE. That's win-win-win-win-win. And I didn't even mention the environment.*



*I wouldn't call myself an environmentalist, but I think we can all agree it is a good thing to waste as little as possible. Disposable diapers account for a LOT of trash, y'all.

Unfashionable Frugality

I've been thinking a lot about saving money, especially in light of cloth diapering, and all the fun ways to do it. Repurposing items around the house can be fun. We're planting a vegetable garden this year--fun and we get to eat the harvest! I'm even considering baking bread.

There are many other ways of saving money that are harder to brag about. (And really, one should never be boastful about these things anyway, but if it's about sharing fun, what's the harm in that?) Like our dented, uncomfortable old Buick that's hard to move the car seat in and out of. It is by no means a "sweet ride," but it's paid off, it runs, and it saves us money. Same goes for the old manual transmission Ford Focus. It has relatively good gas mileage, gets us from Point A to Point B and, most importantly, it's paid off. The imaginary van I'm drooling over will have to wait for another year because we don't yet NEED another car, and we can get by on what we have, Joneses be darned.

Take also the stroller. I paid nothing for this stroller. My mom scored it at a garage sale and didn't ask me to pay her back. It also came with an infant carrier and two car bases for said carrier. We got a new car seat/carrier (actually a gift) for safety reasons, but it fits with this stroller. But they don't match! The stroller is scratched and dirty! And they don't match! The print is not completely to my taste!

But: Who cares? It works and it was free. We did not have to buy an expensive stroller so that I could push my baby around.

I read this post shared on my Google Reader yesterday. It is so very true. I don't have to listen to or worry about the people who would judge me for driving around an unattractive old car or pushing around an unattractive old stroller. The thing is, I don't hear anyone passing judgments. They might do so silently and I really can't care about that. What's harder to ignore is that voice in my head that says I'm not quite good enough if I don't have nice, clean, new gear. Is that because I might unfairly judge someone else in my exact situation? Or perhaps I'm too harsh on myself. It's not others who can't let go and for whom I'll never be good enough, it's me.

What I would add to The Simple Dollar is that it isn't You against The World. You don't need to imagine that everyone is judging you for driving a beater, for living in a tiny apartment, for not eating out on a regular basis. And you surely do not need to make excuses to them--or yourself!--for making wise decisions with your money. The end!

I resolve to do the same. My infant carrier and stroller do not match. No excuses necessary.

Cloth Diapers: Growing the Stash

Now that I am a mother to an outside-baby and my piano student load is reduced to nearly nothing (really--I currently have one student, and that is just fabulous with me), I consider it an important part of my job as a mostly-SAHM to save money wherever possible.

Two of the ways I do that is by breastfeeding and using cloth diapers. So far, baby has not come with much extra regular expense. That being said, we are still building that cloth diaper stash, so that's a bit expensive until said stash is really complete. And then there's the fact that a lot of cloth diapers are really cute and fun to buy, so I have to be careful not to drop too much cash on them. (Babies also need more and more and more clothes and other important supplies, but I shall not further digress in this post.)

So, cloth diapers. They've come a loooong way since I was a baby, and even a long way in the past few years, so if you're first reaction is "Eeeeuuuwwww, why would you do that to yourself?" then read on. And definitely read on if you have or intend to have a baby and would consider the fun and thrift of cloth diapering.

About midway through pregnancy, I starting considering cloth and researched like CRAZY, often spending way too much time Googling and seeking out information on how this works, what you need to do it, etc. I posted inquiries on internet forums, I emailed everyone I know who uses or has used cloth diapers to get their input. Everyone told me something slightly different, but the recurring theme was that it's good to try different things and see what works for your baby.

I've been slowly accumulating my stash since October-ish, and now that I feel pretty set, Lily is outgrowing her smallest diapers. The adventure continues!

For now, this is what I have. Category #1 is relatively inexpensive basics:

• 12 Unbleached Chinese Prefold Diapers. These are diaper service quality diapers, so they hold a lot more than the package of Gerber diapers found on the bottom shelf at Target. They are inexpensive and useful for when we're just hanging around the house, so I consider them the rice in the greater diaper dish.
• 3 Thirsties Duo Wrap covers. All three are size one, but as Lily is quite long for her age and weight, I will need to get the larger size soon. I usually just lay a folded prefold in the cover then put it on her. The wrap keeps the diaper in place; no pins required! The velcro enclosure and double leg gussets ensures no leaks. Really, even big poops and heavy wets never, ever leave this cover. The same cannot be said for most disposables we've used. I have found that I'll probably want more than three in the next size.
• 1 Kissaluvs Contour diaper. I don't love this one, which is why I haven't bought any more. It may need still a few more washings to get to full absorbency, but it doesn't seem to hold a lot and the contour shape is kind of unnecessary and just makes it harder to put on.
• 3 Snappis diaper fasteners. I just bought these last week, and don't need them much since the covers hold the prefolds, but they work well with the contour. And it's nice to have them on hand when they're called for. Putting on a prefold with a Snappi under the cover ensures the cover will not get soiled, but it adds a complicated step to the diapering process, especially now that Lily immediately thrashes her legs joyously as soon as she's un-diapered. We may need them when she becomes more mobile; we shall see.

Category #2 is Pocket Diapers. Pockets are great but closer to the expensive end of the spectrum. They consist of a PUL shell sewn onto some kind of moisture-wicking fabric that goes against baby's skin. It is then stuffed with some sort of absorbent liner, usually microfiber. Pockets are fairly versatile in that you can add a doubler easily to increase absorbency and the fact that you can unstuff it for laundering means it dries relatively quickly. However, unlike prefolds and covers, the entire diaper is done once soiled--there's no reusing the cover. But pockets are very Daddy- and babysitter-friendly and way easy to use. Here's our stash:

• 3 bum Genius 3.0 pocket diapers. These are our favorite pockets. They can get completely soaked and never leak. They are easy to use and fit just like disposables, only better. And they are one size, which means Lily can wear the same diapers through toddlerhood, thanks to easy snap-down sizing.
  
• 3 Happy Heinys one-size pocket diapers. (Link goes to snaps, we have velcro.) These were a gift and are almost as good as the bum Genius. The velcro is a little harder to get just right and the laundry tabs don't work very well, leading to a chain of diapers in the dryer. I'm very glad to have these, though.
• 4 Fuzzi Bunz size small pocket diapers. These were another gift and I like them. Lily will outgrow them soon, though, and I don't think I'll replace them with a bigger size. They are the only cloth diapers she's blown out of more than once, and I think it's because it's difficult to get that perfect fit with the snaps. Snaps will last longer than velcro at the cost of good fit, unfortunately.

Category #3 is fancy primo diapers:

• 1 bum Genius size medium All-in-One diaper. Just like the pocket only sized and the absorbent part is sewn into the diaper. There's still a pocket for adding absorbency. I got this diaper for free with a coupon. I love the color, but my only experience so far is that it takes FOREVER to dry. I put it on Lily for the first time this morning and she immediately pooped in it. So... I think she likes it!
• 1 Flip diaper with stay-dry liner. I love the idea of Flip, a system that's essentially all-in-two. It's from the makers of bum Genius, so the moisture wicking is great. However, the cover leaves much to be desired and the more I use it, the less I like it. The liner tends to slide around in the cover. Poops inevitably get all over the cover, so I have to wash it too often for my taste.
  
• 3 Gro Baby one size diaper system. We also have two extra 2-packs of liners and one extra package of two boosters for extra absorbency. So that's three shells, 5 boosters and 7 liners. We LOVE Gro Baby. They have never, ever leaked or blown out. The aplix allows for a perfect, unique fit. The liners soak up a lot and snap into the shells. If they get wet or soiled, you can remove them and reuse the shell. So easy and the best of everything when comparing prefolds, all-in-ones and pockets. If we wanted to, we could get disposable liners for the shells, but I don't see the point. I would never compost my diapers, and regular 'sposies are cheaper. But it's a great system, and all future additions to the stash will most likely be Gro Baby. It's more expensive than Flip, but it's a better system overall.

And that's the stash for a total of 32 diapers. Next up: accessories and laundering!

Posterity

Hello, blog! I've taken a three-month maternity leave from you. I'm back, but as always, I can't make promises as to my future commitment to this blog.

Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia! That means Holy Week is over, and boy am I ready for a break.

Our Easter Lily baby will be three months old this Thursday. She's more like a baby and less like a newborn every day, and that's just delightful. I had to play single mom last week. Erich was out of town from Monday morning to Thursday afternoon. Unfortunately, this trip coincided with a bad virus I was fighting, so that made the single parenthood that much harder.

Lily is totally breastfed, so every time I knew I was going to be away from her, I had to pump some milk for her. Monday morning I pumped, and Monday evening I left her with my sister-in-law/next door neighbor while I rehearsed the bell choir at church. I returned to her crying for food--the milk I left was only just enough.

Tuesday I decided to hang out at my parents' house. That usually happens about once a week. Getting out of the house to get extra help with Lily is essential to my sanity. My mom and I went to Target to get some necessary items, but we couldn't get them all because my malaise required rest. Oh, and Lily absolutely refused to nap. She wasn't particularly fussy, just wakeful.

And see, at this point, I was only trying to get to Thursday when Erich would be home! Wednesday brought new challenges. I had to make sure I had enough milk to leave with SIL/neighbor for choir rehearsal that night--the Holy Week Mega-Rehearsal. My mom was nice enough to come over beforehand to make dinner, and we ate with brother, SIL, and niece. Then we were off to the rehearsal scheduled from 7-9, but for me actually went till a little after 10. Hey, it's Holy Week! I rushed home to my baby, who, unaware of my exhaustion, continued to stay awake until 2ish, as is her habit.

I really don't know how single moms do it.

Thursday I counted down the hours and Erich finally came home about 3pm. I got some laundry and cleaning done and then we went to church. I was the official director of the choir, the women of the church adult choir. We warmed up then had a little bit of time before the service so I could pump. I helped wrangle the baby as much as I could in between leading the liturgy. After church back at home, I had to practice organ. Luckily, we happen to be housing a pretty nice electronic organ at our house until the church can use it. Erich watched Lily and TV while I practiced for Good Friday.

On Friday, I had to practice at church. I took Lily with me and got there around noon. All that listening to organ music in the womb must have done her well because even though she was awake, she listened patiently while I practiced. She was done about the time I was done, so I took her to my parents' house. I watched her there until it was time to go play for the 4:00 service. I pumped during the sermon. I met Erich back at my parents' house afterward and ate my dad's fried shrimp in between feeding the baby. It was back to church at 6:30 to warm up with the choir for the Tenebrae service. Lily did pretty well. My mom held her while Erich and I led the litany. When the lights went out at the sanctuary was all dark, Lily started squawking. Such a baby, afraid of the dark! So Erich took her out and all was well.

Saturday I got to practice organ at church sans Lily, but not before I fed her! We were back at church again at 6:30 so I could warm up the bell choir, assign percussion parts for The Song of the Three Young Men, and rehearse other liturgical enhancements. After The First Song of Isaiah as the Vigil started, Lily was hungry and I had a long stretch of time when I wasn't directly needed, so I fed her. I snuck back into church in time for "All You Works of God, Bless the Lord." After the baptisms and confirmations, I played organ for the rest of the service. We were done around 9, and I was hungry! We wanted to stop for Mexican, so we got Lily in the carseat and left. She got hungry and very distressed in the car, however, so we had to stop on the way so I could feed her in a parking lot. It was Mexican or bust, so we continued on our way and I was able to eat at home before she needed my attention again. We got to bed late, as usual.

I opted out of the sunrise service. It's just too hard. Erich left at six to play trumpet. I got up, got Lily up around seven (ouch. It goes against the grain to wake up a baby who would have easily slept two more hours.) and got to church at 7:45. I grabbed a quick youth group-sponsored breakfast then left Lily with Erich while I went to warm up with the choir. I had to leave that early to make sure Erich was properly outfitted with baby supplies. Then I discovered I had ten minutes before the 8:30 service started, so I went to discreetly pump in the sacristy. Thankfully the pastor didn't mind. ("Everyone needs their Easter breakfast!") Lily slept through that service, which ended at 9:50. I changed her diaper before the 10:00 service then handed her off to SIL, who gave her the bottle I had pumped earlier.

The choir sang the preservice music and had a prelude after the confession and absolution. Lily quickly finished her bottle and squawked for more. I looked in the bulletin and saw that after the prelude, there was the processional hymn, Kyrie, festival canticle, collect of the day, Old Testament reading... and THEN the big 6-part choral gradual that I couldn't miss. I decided to skip the prelude and whisked Lily to the nursery. She fed in an unhurried manner and was happy. I got her back into church, casually slipped my choir robe back on and was zipping it up as the choir moved into position for the gradual. Smooth!

The choir was done before the sermon, so I took two trips in and out of church to take out the baby and her accompanying supplies. And after that whirlwind weekend, I was done and home by 11am. Erich, who had finished out the rest of the service on trumpet, joined me soon afterward. We were at my parents' house and relaxing by 1pm. And then, I stopped living one hour at a time and realized I worked my tail off in a totally different way from most years. Erich and I couldn't have done it without help, particularly from mom and SIL.

So this post may not be that interesting, but some day I'm going to forget what it was like to tackle Holy Week as a church musician and nursing mother to an almost three-month-old. And then I'll reread this and be like, "Oh yeah. I don't remember that."