Wednesday, December 24, 2008


I'm going to call it: Christmas cards just aren't going to happen this year. I was still holding out hope, but the time has passed. I had already decided not to do a letter, because Christmas letters should be uplifting and not dwell on problems. Yet, when I think about 2008, it's hard not to dwell on the negative. So today, on the eve of our Savior's birth, I present to you the letter that sums up our year, but which I would never actually put in the mail.

Dearest Friends and Family,

2008 and both sucked and blew, to paraphrase Bart Simpson. We experienced joys and sorrows and are setting our hopes on a better 2009.

In early January I found out I was pregnant! Erich and I were so excited and started making plans. I had an ultrasound and we saw our little 9-week baby and its little beating heart. In February, I went in for another ultrasound at what would have been 12 weeks gestation and discovered that our baby had passed away. After five days of bleeding, I had a painful D&C and learned that there was something wrong with my uterus that most likely caused my miscarriage. That SUCKED.

In late March, I got to travel with Erich to the Basque Country of Spain, where he had work and training at his company's headquarters. I enjoyed that trip immensely, and I learned so much about Basque culture and took many pictures. This was a HIGHLIGHT.

In April, I finally had two tests to follow-up with my abnormal uterus. They were both uncomfortable and wasted time and returned ultimately inaccurate diagnoses. That totally BLEW.

In May I finally visited with a specialist, but had to wait till June to accomplish anything. That kinda SUCKED. At the end of May a dear friend of mine got married and I was a bridesmaid. This was a HIGHLIGHT.

June was the best month of the year. Erich and I joined his family from Evansville in a trip to Galena, IL. Another set of good friends got married, our niece and goddaughter Emily was born, and I finally got a diagnosis: uterine septum. Not only was I thrilled to finally have a definitive diagnosis, but I also was able to have it surgically repaired that same week. That ROCKED.

July was uneventful, as was August, except when I remembered the date when my first baby should have been born. That SUCKED.

In September, Erich and I celebrated our first anniversary, though it feels like we've been married longer--in a good way.

In October, our beloved Cubbies completely screwed the pooch and instead of winning the World Series like they were supposed to, they were swept in the first round of the play-offs. That BLEW. On one of the nights they lost, my car wouldn't start while Erich was out of town, and I had to have it towed. That also BLEW. On the last day of October, Erich and I hosted a Halloween party. It was a great success! That was a HIGHLIGHT.

In early November, the election took place. Remember that? Yeah, I know a lot of people were happy, but in my book, that totally SUCKED. But November got better: on the 9-monthiversary of my miscarriage, I learned that I was pregnant again! That ROCKED. We also enjoyed Thanksgiving with Erich's extended family, which was a HIGHLIGHT.

December has arrived in all its craziness. Erich traveled to Louisville for a friend's wedding. We both traveled to Michigan to spend time with my extended family for Christmas. Our drive home was treacherous with heavy snow and many accidents on the road. We eventually stopped in Valparaiso, IN for the night. We had to get up early to drive home to get to my first ultrasound in time. On the day I should have been just past nine weeks, we should have seen a little baby with a heartbeat. Instead, we saw an empty gestational sac measuring six weeks. Diagnosis: blighted ovum, most likely a chromosomal problem, an accident of nature, unlikely to happen again. Lightening has struck us twice in one year. This really, really, really, really SUCKS. Fortunately, my D&C was scheduled for the very next day (yesterday), it was very easy with almost no pain or bleeding, and the doctor said it was "textbook." At least my uterus is more or less normal!

Erich and I will travel down to Evansville after Christmas and come home for New Year's Eve, when we look forward to toasting the END of 2008, a generally SUCKY year.

We wish you all, our dear friends and family, all the blessings of our crucified and risen Savior, born on earth as a baby. Our strength is in Him, and despite the challenges we face, we take joy in the assurance of our salvation.

All our love,

Susan and Erich

1 comment:

Jess said...

Here's hoping that you and Erich have more "HIGHLIGHTS" and less "SUCK" memories in 2009. You guys deserve it! Merry Christmas!